But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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