I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
