Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
