Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
