I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
