i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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