Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize