I love black thongs
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
