where am i from again
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize