PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
