Your face is a jimmy john
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
