the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
