that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
