is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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