You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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