You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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