i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
