i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
