where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
