I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
