I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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