Tell her she can't have a vagina
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I need to align my fucking chakras
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
