Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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