So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
