Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
