And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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