I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
