i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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