Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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