I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
