you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
