I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
