THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
where are my eyebrows?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
