I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize