How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
