You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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