I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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