brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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