Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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