i may or may not be watching the land before time
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
