Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
