Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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