Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
