thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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