Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
