It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
