i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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