no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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