just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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