My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
