I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize