I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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