i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Damn victory sex feels great
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
