dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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