Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
