i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
