2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize