My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I skipped work to stalk him.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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