You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
