I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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