'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize