morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I am available for nakedness
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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