he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
