He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
