I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
