I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize