I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
