I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
