as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
