She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
