She's JV to your varsity
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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