he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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